Here we are- three days into 2015. Although I am disappointed that I don’t have my hover board and flying car as promised by Back to the Future, there are 362 more days in this year and I’m an optimist. It could happen. Hey, we don’t have anything if we don’t have hope.
Like everything in life, 2014 had moments of unbelievable joy, some immense sorrows, and at times felt like 100 years of life lessons were being crammed into this one little year. I gave birth to another sweet tub of gooey love. I don’t know if I necessarily believe in the concept of people deserving things or not but I am so grateful that I have four times over been able to experience being a mother. A mother! There is no harder, more gut wrenching or more beautiful experience on this planet. Lucky me.
Did I mention it’s hard? Oh boy, it is hard. But that is ok because I can do hard things. I know this because I tell myself this dozens of times a day. Or maybe I’m desperately trying to convince myself. Either way, I find it to be a helpful mantra. I’m sure you already know this but you can do hard things too. We all can.
Many hard things we do aren’t ones we chose. You know, the ones that you have to get through whether or not there appears to be any reward or bright side. But as sad as it is and as broken as your heart is there always is something to be learned. If I can’t find an obvious rainbow I always look for the lesson.
My dad passed away in August. He died of a sudden heart attack- a manner of death everyone describes as unexpected.
Unexpected? It seems as if nobody is expecting the one thing about life that is certain. We all get to share the experience of dying yet it seems most of us are not prepared.
My dad’s death and also life have really framed how I want to proceed with my life. It’s given me new perspective or I should probably more accurately say a renewed one.
We all know these basic truths. They just all somehow get lost in the monotany of everyday life.
1-We are born.
2-We do what we do.
4- Insert your belief here.
That’s it in a nutshell. That is it. No matter what your beliefs are about what happens fourth the only thing we really and truly have control over is that whole part about doing whatever we’re going to do while we’re here. You know, in the present. So, I’m going to get busy doing things…
Im going to love, and kiss, and squeeze the smooshy little cheeks of everyone I love. And I’m going to take care of myself. I’m going to be kind to myself. I may even kiss and sqeeze my own chubby little cheeks.
Ok, I may have gotten a little weird now. Sorry. Let’s get back on track. Here’s what I’m going to do.
I’m going to make mistakes. I’m going to fail in small ways. I’m going to fail in really big ways.
And I’m going to keep trying.
I’m going to be the poster woman for great mothers- the mom everyone wishes they had. Then I’m going to be that shitty mom you saw in Wal Mart last week that totally lost her cool with her kids.
And I’m going to just keep trying.
I’m going to have moments where my life seems to be perfectly balanced and all of our needs are being met. Then I’ll have moments when the scales get tipped and everything lands crushingly on top of me.
I’ll just keep trying.
My resolution for 2015 and for all of the years that come after this one is to just keep trying. I’m going to keep to doing more things that make me happy than things that don’t.
As a side note, riding a hover board and driving a flying car would be on the list of of things that would make me happy to do. I’ll keep hoping.
I’m Ashley Davis. Thanks for visiting my silly blog! I live in rural south Alabama with my four boys, husband, and herd of cats and dogs. You can learn more interesting things about me here. If you click around you can also learn some things that aren’t so interesting and some things that you just didn’t want to ever know! Welcome!