It’s movie night! And here I am in front of the computer. In our house movie night consists of waiting until the babies fall asleep and watching a movie in bed. Usually, I watch half of the movie and fall asleep. I would like to attribute that to being a tired mommy but I’ve done it my entire life.
Although, I can’t blame my children for my movie narcolepsy I will blame them for my inability to enjoy a movie with a plot more complicated than Thomas & Friends: Hero of the Rails. Motherhood brings a whole new set of incredible skills and abilities- like smelling one drop of pee in a diaper from another room, fearlessly and blindly sticking your finger into a questionable diaper to determine if it needs changing, and not only tolerating the smell of sour breast milk on a infant’s neck but actually enjoying the scent. Ahh, the smell of new born baby!
Living in the Bible Belt, I often hear that the Lord giveth and the Lord taketh away. He may have giveth me amazing and wonderous maternal instincts but he hath taketh away my brain.
I tried to watch Duplicity with the husband and I just could not comprehend the movie. Totally couldn’t follow. It has Julia Roberts in it -surely it’s not beyond my intellectual capabilities. (If you’ve seen this movie and you believe it is beyond my level of comprehension- I don’t want to hear from you.)
Entertainment isn’t the only area of concern. Several months ago I pulled up to a railroad crossing and turned on my blinker as if I was about to turn onto the tracks. I didn’t. And I (probably) wouldn’t have, but I sure felt like a dumb ass. I’ve taken the television remote control in the car instead of the cell phone. I put size 5 diapers on a six week old, size 1 on a 16 month old and didn’t realize it until it was time to change them again. (Picture it in your head they looked ridiculous and I didn’t even notice.) I called Little Chunk Lawrence. That’s not his name. It’s not the name of anyone I know.
The list goes on. And on. I’m sure the husband could happily add a few stories.
Maybe this is why my kids are so smart- I gave them more brain cells than I had to spare.