Well, it would be if everything wasn’t so dad-gummed crowded. Yes, I said dad-gummed. No, I’m not sure if that’s how you spell it.
I’m tired of the extra traffic. I’m tired of standing in line.
Where did all of these people come from?
Where are they the entire rest of the year? Can’t they go back there?
Haven’t they heard of this new thing called the Internet? You can buy anything there. And everything.
They definitely should visit Become.com. Not only are the folks there gracious enough to sponsor this post but there are no lines at their store. No traffic jams. No Scrooges like me. In fact, it’s the exact opposite of all of those things. You type into the search box what you’re looking for and you get pages of results from brand name retailers-the ones you usually have to fight traffic and crowds to get to this time of the year.
Super-duper convenient. Yes, I said super-duper. I’m full of creative words today.
The Become.com marketing department would like for you to look at yellow shower curtains, bathroom vanities, and ceiling-medallions. Although I’m not currently in the market for those items I am hunting some new shiny lipstick and I found more than 12,000 listings and reviews for that.
You see, I need new beautiful lipstick to highlight my new beautifully straight teeth. I got my braces removed!
Here’s the very last photo of me with braces… And this time I really mean last!
Wow, that’s really close up. I need longer arms. Maybe a friend to run the camera would be easier to find than arm extensions.
I know, you’re like, “Well??? Where’s the after shot?”
Give me a week to whiten. Right now my teeth look like little pats of butter. They are perfectly straight pats of butter- but pats of butter, none the less.
Goodbye braces! Corn-on-the-cobb, here I come!
This discombobulated post was sponsored by Become.com. Although I was compensated for this piece, all opinions (and bah-humbugness) belong to me.