Coconut Macaroon Chocolate Candy Bars

coconut macaroon candy bars, three pantry ingredients

This is so simple that “recipe” doesn’t seem like the appropriate word to use. So, here are your assembly instructions. Oh boy, you are going to thank me. And then probably cuss me. And then thank me when you are eating another one. And then cuss me. Well, I’m sure you can see the pattern. Here ya go…

Coconut Macaroon Chocolate Candy Bars

INGREDIENTS

-14 oz. can of sweetened condensed milk

-28 oz. of sweetened coconut

-your favorite chocolate candy

That’s it! Really. I’m serious. Now, here’s what to do…

1-Mix together your sweetened coconut and sweetened condensed milk. I just typed sweetened twice. That means this is going to be good.

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It actually works best if you pour the sweet condensed milk into the bowl instead of next to it.

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Yes! More like that.

2-Dump your bowl of gooey-ness onto a greased sheet pan. I used one that is 18x13x1.

coconut macaroon candy bars

3-Go get your favorite 2nd child and let him smoosh it and spread it evenly into the pan.

coconut macaroon chocolate candy bars

4-Bake in a 350 degree oven until the top is toasted to your satisfaction. I used a convection oven and it took exactly 18 minutes.

5-While still warm mash pieces of your very favorite chocolate into the top.

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6-Let cool and cut into squares. Oh, and trust me. You’ll want to save the corner pieces for yourself.


Coconut Macaroon Chocolate Candy Bars

Coconut Macaroon Chocolate Candy Bars
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Recipe type: Dessert
Author:
Chewy and gooey and ridiculously simple. You'll love these coconut bars!
Ingredients
  • 14 oz. sweetened condensed milk
  • 2, 14 oz. packages of sweetened coconut
  • chocolate candy of your choice
Instructions
  1. Preheat oven to 350 degrees.
  2. Mix together sweetened condensed milk with sweetened coconut. Hands work best.
  3. Spread evenly onto greased 18x13x1 baking sheet.
  4. Bake for 18-20 minutes or until top is toast brown.
  5. While warm press chocolates into top.
  6. Cut, serve and eat!
  7. Save the corners for yourself.

Ashley Davis, Motherhood Naked

I’m Ashley Davis. Thanks for visiting my silly blog! I live in rural south Alabama with my four boys, husband, and herd of cats and dogs. You can learn more interesting things about me here. If you click around you can also learn some things that aren’t so interesting and some things that you just didn’t want to ever know! Welcome!

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10 Ways My Life As a Mom Is Like ‘Orange Is the New Black’. And One Way It’s Not.

Orange Is the New Black. I freaking love it. Partly because I feel like I could totally survive prison now. Well, as long as it’s Litchfield and not that horrible one in Chicago with the smart roaches. Yuck. But mostly it’s because I can totally identify with parts of prison life.

Here are 8 ways my life is like Orange Is the New Black…


1- Someone is always grabbing at or trying to suck on my boobs.

Orange Is the New Black, OINTB

I’ll let you decide which one I’m talking about.

2-Crazy people (some may call them children) sometimes pee on my floor.

3-Despite being aware of the consequences people still complain about the food. I will not confirm or deny that my children have been threatened with being served a tampon sandwich. I will say (just speculating, of course) if you are too young to know what a tampon is the threat is ineffective.

4- People stare at you when you pee and poop.

5- You eventually get used to people staring at you when you pee and poop.

6-Shower shoes. There have been times at my house (during the pre-cleaning lady era) that they might have been a good idea.

7-I look forward to visitor’s day-also known as when The Pilot comes home and brings my commissary money. He calls it a paycheck.

8-I barter with, and bribe the inmates with candy bars.

9-Does this character remind you of anyone?

Orange Is the New Black, Crazy Eyes, Suzanne

10-Like Taystee, I’ll always come back.

One Way My Life As a Mom Is NOT Like Orange Is the New Black…

1-Solitary confinement. There is no such luxury around here. I fantasize about being sent to the SHU though. You spend 24 hours a day in small room with a private bed and a private toilet and someone else cooks for you, serves you, and cleans up your meals. Sounds like heaven. Oh, and if you get sent to the section for really insane people they give you drugs. I’m pretty sure I could qualify for that upgrade.

10 Ways Being a Mom Is Like Orange Is the New Black, OITNB


Ashley Davis, Motherhood Naked

I’m Ashley Davis. Thanks for visiting my silly blog! I live in rural south Alabama with my four boys, husband, and herd of cats and dogs. You can learn more interesting things about me here. If you click around you can also learn some things that aren’t so interesting and some things that you just didn’t want to ever know! Welcome!

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Baby’s First Food

These two are special buddies…

baby's first food, butter beans

Hamlin has “helped” take care of Fisher since we brought him home. He covers him with a blanket when he cries. Sometimes that blanket just happens to cover Fisher’s head but I’m sure his intentions are good. He tries to pick him up and comfort him. It just happens to look like he’s trying to dump him out of the bouncy seat but I’m certain he’s trying to help.

Fisher is 5 months old and I don’t start feeding my babies solid foods until they are at least 6 months old. But like I mentioned, these two have a special bond. Fisher must have told Hamlin he was ready for real food because I turned around from washing dishes the other day and Fisher was covered in butter beans and happily smacking his lips. Hamlin was sitting down next to him holding an empty bowl.

I confirmed the next day that Fisher had eaten two whole butter beans. I’m sure you don’t want the details. You can guess how I figured it out.

“Hey man, think you can sneak me some of that solid food y’all eat?”

baby's first food, 5 months, butter beans

“Sure, Little. Anything for my bro!”

baby's first food, five months old, butter beans

“Look how cute my baby feet are! My mama is obsessed with them!”

baby feet, baby's first food, Fisher

 


 

Ashley Davis, Motherhood Naked

I’m Ashley Davis. Thanks for visiting my silly blog! I live in rural south Alabama with my four boys, husband, and herd of cats and dogs. You can learn more interesting things about me here. If you click around you can also learn some things that aren’t so interesting and some things that you just didn’t want to ever know! Welcome!


 

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Goodbye Baby Teeth

My baby Burtch lost his first tooth.

This was him five years ago It seems like five days ago…

Burtch, first teeth, baby teeth

This is the very last picture of him with all of his cute little baby teeth…

Burtch, baby teeth, losing first tooth, five years old

And here he is right after his tooth fell out…

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Burtch was super brave about losing his tooth. I’m so proud of my biggest little buddy.

I knew he would handle it like a champ but I had my doubts about the Tooth Fairy. I hear she had a tremendous amount of anxiety about remembering to fulfill her duties. It turned out ok though. She didn’t fall asleep while surfing Facebook and she delivered $1 without waking anyone up.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

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From the Mouth of My Babe

The boys and I left for a”sanity drive” this afternoon. These happen a lot when The Pilot is on a trip. I needed a serious break from whining and hollering. And in the spirit of keeping in real I’ll admit that the boys weren’t the ones doing the hollering. I’ll also admit that I don’t know if the van ride stopped the whining or not because I couldn’t hear anything over the loud music and the roar from the open windows and sunroof.

After driving nowhere in particular for about 45 minutes I made a pit stop at Dairy Queen for burgers and ice cream. This perked up the boys but I was still pretty damn grumpy. And as they often do when I’m in a super pissy mood, one of the boys said the cutest thing and my attitude did a complete 180 degree turnaround…

From the back row of the minivan Lawson says, “MOM, I have a great idea! I’m saving all of these seeds off of my “hambuhgah” so I can’t plant them and we can grow our own “hambuhgahs!”

My sweet buddy is going to grow hamburgers from sesame seeds.

I love that idea, Lawsee-roo.

Lawson, Yoga

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Just A Swimmin’

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Look how their hands are touching. Sweet brothers. Makes my heart feel good.

The big boys took swimming lessons!

The Pilot and I really want them to be comfortable in the water. But not so comfortable that they would drunkenly jump into a lake at night and have to be pulled to the surface by their pony-tail because they were too inebriated to walk much less swim. Don’t judge. We’ve all had our moments. The Pilot had a wild past.

Hey, he could have had a ponytail. Fine, he never had a ponytail.

Anyway, The Pilot has been through tons of water training as a Marine and then as a Navy Reservist but he says he isn’t a strong swimmer. I totally suck at swimming. I mean I can survive but I do NOT  love water going up my nose. Or holding my breath. So we are doing our best not to impart our “uncomfortable-ness” on the boys.

My main goal for this two-week class was for the boys to have a minimal number of freak outs. And it was a success! Thanks to their bravery and very patient and gentle instructors there were no freak outs. They even each went under a few times.

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Those Suh-uhmer Ni-hiiiiiiiights!!!!

I make references to the movie Grease a lot (see above) and The Pilot doesn’t know what the hell I’m talking about. He hasn’t seen it.

Important life lessons can be learned from that movie…

“If you can’t be an athlete, be an athletic supporter.”

“A hickey from Kinickie is like a Hallmark card.”

“It doesn’t matter if you win or lose, it’s what you do with your dancin’ shoes.”

“The rules are, there ain’t no rules!”

Great words to live by. I could go on all day. At least The Pilot and I have Top Gun in common.

Back to the point of this post… Suh-uhmer Ni-iiiiiiiiights…

Some nights I hate that it’s not dark by 5:00 because it’s harder to trick the boys into thinking it’s bedtime at 5:30.

I’m not saying I do that. I may or may not be speaking hypothetically.

Anyway, some nights I love that the sun doesn’t set until 8:00 because dusk is so beautiful and not as hot and we can play longer and there is more time in the day to write run-on sentences.

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Right after I took this picture a giant mosquito tried to carry two of the kids away. Yes, two at once. It was really remarkable. Of course then we had to go inside.

 

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